24 January 2011

shy? me?

What are you shy about? Or, what situations do you find make you shy?
I've never thought of myself as shy. A family member once said I was a wall flower and it's haunted me to this day.  I don't want to be a wall flower.  Yes, I'm an observer. Yes, I analyze and listen and contemplate. Yes, I'm quiet when we first meet; I'm feeling you out, I'm learning our rhythm, I'm sorting out the dance steps...but once I've settled in, I'm not shy. Maybe I'm more reserved when it comes to things about me. I tend to be a little uncomfortable when talking about myself and what my strengths and weaknesses consist of. But, I don't think I'm shy. I'm certainly not shy about my friends talents. I could brag until I am blue in the face about the awesome things my friends do.   

One of my best friends, the one who encouraged/introduced me to this 'proj' (say it with style - it's hilarious), sent this video the other day:
This is a side track from the point of this post, but that's how this works, right, it allows your brain to want to write more. I couldn't agree more. 'Home is when I am with you.' As we get older, it becomes more and more difficult to make friends, to form bonds that really sink in. I think part of this is because we become consumed with our day-to-day: we have families, we have careers that take up a lot of time and...sometimes...it's just a lot of work. It can be exhausting. That's why this song is so appropriate. She will always and forever be one of my best friends. We, and a few friends, used to have family dinners on a regular basis. We'd cook together, eat together and clean together. It was the perfect family. My family will always be my family but as we grow and mature they can sometimes become further from you, this is where your friends step in...your friends become your family.  They are who you spend the most time with, they are who you go to in need. I don't mind it. I love my dear friends and will call them ll family forever.

What do you think? Friends vs. family - do they become one in the same as we get older? Do you think distance from family effects this?

21 January 2011

catching up.

Oops, here we go..

1/21: What are three things you can do to be a better friend to the people in your life?
- Keep in better contact
- Be patient and know sometimes life gets in the way
- Be more open to new possibilities

1/20 : What's holding you back?
Right now? My hand. I fluctuate between numb and pain. Today, pain; got a half cast on my hand, cried a lot at the doctors, almost passed out, it was a great time. On the flip side, hopefully the pins come out in a week. 

In general? Fear of failure. It can be over powering. I try to all the time to build blocks against it but it's a consuming thing. Negative thoughts can seep into the brain space. They can be very persuasive even when your positive side is shouting at the top of its lungs. I'm sure this sounds like a bunch of crap but its what i feel. How are ways you keep yourself fighting fear?

1/19: What was the best day of your life so far?
I think there have been too many good days to pick out a "best" day so far in my life. I'm also a firm believer in living each day to its fullest and making the most of it. Sure, I've said that a day was "the best ever" but those are quickly replaced but something else, by another adventure, by another set of moments.

17 January 2011

something not invented

Day two: Write about something you feel should not have been invented.

Can I say gossip? Who am I asking, myself? It's something that was invented at some point and I haven't done my research so I don't know who or why but I don't like it. Gossip hurts feeling, feeds negative energy and wastes time.

Gossip? Or something else?

16 January 2011

NaBloPoMo(National Blog Posting Month)...here we go...

It's 2011. I'm tired of making excuses for not blogging (but a broken finger does make it tough to type or have the energy to type), so, I know I'm late to the game but I just joined NaBloPoMo. National Blog Posting Month. I'm going to take the prompts and use 'em. I'm going to make this a habit that I can't break. So, here's this girls spin on doin' stuff. :)

What do you want to be admired for?

Man, off the bat I have to be self-reflective?! Ugh.

I want to be admired for my patience. My persistence. My perseverance. My friendship.

I want people to think, man that girl pushes herself so hard for what she wants. She challenges herself to grow, to try new things, to fail and be okay when that happens. I hope that I help makes others happy, I hope I'm able to led by example (or show an example, at least). I hope that my friends, old and new, know how very important they are to me. How much I cherish out moments and your love.

There you have it. What would you like to be admired for? Tough to answer, huh? xo

12 January 2011

accidents happen

so on sunday i broke my left ring finger walking a pit bull. so badly i had to get surgery. needless to say cooking w. one hand is very difficult. it doesnt stop me though. i made oatmeal this am, and for dinner i made my own pasta sauce....it was...mediocre to say the least but i ate it and will eat my leftovers tomorrow. so, bare with me as i type and cook with one hand, whilst in a haze of vicodin. :)