feb-roo-ary

2/2: Think about someone who annoys you. Write a list of everything you don't like about them, and then write a list of all the things that you're grateful that they've shown you about yourself.
- ego centric, distracting, way too tangential, pretentious, not self driven.
- focus and clarity, specificity, drive and passion, the ability to allow myself to release control to another person.


2/1: Who's your favorite character from a book, play, film, or other work of art?
The French Post-Impressionist painter, Edouard Vuillard, has a painting of a young girl holding the hand of what looks like her father or grandfather that always speaks to me.  It is very similar to his Child Wearing a Red Scarf.  I think what speaks to me so much about the image is the trust the child seems to have in her father and the innocence she exudes. That sounds all bougie lame, but I mean it. The whole image is very grey and drab and she's wearing this bright orange/red beret and she pops out of the image. I love it.

What's a great book or film you've seen recently, or your all-time favorite that you think I just have to read or see?

four in one

1/28: Is there anyone in your family who was or is currently in the military? Tell us about them.Nope. All of my grandfathers were in the military but it was never been a big thing in my family, so I don't know them as military men.  I know them as Bud, the most generous man who lived in Jersey and made great fried egg sandwiches. And, Gene. The grandpa who would howl out the window at me in Northern CA and tell me wolves were coming and I better be careful. The man who whenever he met new people would tell them how when I was a baby he would be pushing me in a stroller and I would say 'hi' or smile at anyone. The man who when I went fishing with him and my father, was holding my fishing pole helping but got distracted by a bull frog and lost the only sun fish I would have caught. And finally, the man who I spoke to on the phone from Vermont as he was dying in the hospital...I told him I loved him and I would always and that I would miss him...5 minutes later he passed away. I love that man a lot, he was a great grandfather.

1/27: Have you ever had a moment in your life feel like it was pointing toward your destiny, either at the time or when you looked at it in retrospect?
Whenever I work in a theater - building sets, sorting props, painting, rehearsing, etc. I feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing.  I also have


1/26: What are five good reasons to break off a wedding?

- He's cheating

- You're cheating

- You really don't love this person you're doing it for other people

- Death of a close family member

- The big game's on at the same time...duh, people.

1/25: What's something you do really well that other people are amazed by?
I bake really well. :)  

shy? me?

What are you shy about? Or, what situations do you find make you shy?

I've never thought of myself as shy. A family member once said I was a wall flower and it's haunted me to this day.  I don't want to be a wall flower.  Yes, I'm an observer. Yes, I analyze and listen and contemplate. Yes, I'm quiet when we first meet; I'm feeling you out, I'm learning our rhythm, I'm sorting out the dance steps...but once I've settled in, I'm not shy. Maybe I'm more reserved when it comes to things about me. I tend to be a little uncomfortable when talking about myself and what my strengths and weaknesses consist of. But, I don't think I'm shy. I'm certainly not shy about my friends talents. I could brag until I am blue in the face about the awesome things my friends do.   

One of my best friends, the one who encouraged/introduced me to this 'proj' (say it with style - it's hilarious), sent this video the other day:

This is a side track from the point of this post, but that's how this works, right, it allows your brain to want to write more. I couldn't agree more. 'Home is when I am with you.' As we get older, it becomes more and more difficult to make friends, to form bonds that really sink in. I think part of this is because we become consumed with our day-to-day: we have families, we have careers that take up a lot of time and...sometimes...it's just a lot of work. It can be exhausting. That's why this song is so appropriate. She will always and forever be one of my best friends. We, and a few friends, used to have family dinners on a regular basis. We'd cook together, eat together and clean together. It was the perfect family. My family will always be my family but as we grow and mature they can sometimes become further from you, this is where your friends step in...your friends become your family.  They are who you spend the most time with, they are who you go to in need. I don't mind it. I love my dear friends and will call them ll family forever.

What do you think? Friends vs. family - do they become one in the same as we get older? Do you think distance from family effects this?

catching up.

Oops, here we go..

1/21: What are three things you can do to be a better friend to the people in your life?
- Keep in better contact
- Be patient and know sometimes life gets in the way
- Be more open to new possibilities


1/20 : What's holding you back?

Right now? My hand. I fluctuate between numb and pain. Today, pain; got a half cast on my hand, cried a lot at the doctors, almost passed out, it was a great time. On the flip side, hopefully the pins come out in a week. 

In general? Fear of failure. It can be over powering. I try to all the time to build blocks against it but it's a consuming thing. Negative thoughts can seep into the brain space. They can be very persuasive even when your positive side is shouting at the top of its lungs. I'm sure this sounds like a bunch of crap but its what i feel. How are ways you keep yourself fighting fear?

1/19: What was the best day of your life so far?
I think there have been too many good days to pick out a "best" day so far in my life. I'm also a firm believer in living each day to its fullest and making the most of it. Sure, I've said that a day was "the best ever" but those are quickly replaced but something else, by another adventure, by another set of moments.

something not invented

Day two: Write about something you feel should not have been invented.

Can I say gossip? Who am I asking, myself? It's something that was invented at some point and I haven't done my research so I don't know who or why but I don't like it. Gossip hurts feeling, feeds negative energy and wastes time.

Gossip? Or something else?

NaBloPoMo(National Blog Posting Month)...here we go...

It's 2011. I'm tired of making excuses for not blogging (but a broken finger does make it tough to type or have the energy to type), so, I know I'm late to the game but I just joined NaBloPoMo. National Blog Posting Month. I'm going to take the prompts and use 'em. I'm going to make this a habit that I can't break. So, here's this girls spin on doin' stuff. :)

What do you want to be admired for?

Man, off the bat I have to be self-reflective?! Ugh.

I want to be admired for my patience. My persistence. My perseverance. My friendship.

I want people to think, man that girl pushes herself so hard for what she wants. She challenges herself to grow, to try new things, to fail and be okay when that happens. I hope that I help makes others happy, I hope I'm able to led by example (or show an example, at least). I hope that my friends, old and new, know how very important they are to me. How much I cherish out moments and your love.

There you have it. What would you like to be admired for? Tough to answer, huh? xo

accidents happen

so on sunday i broke my left ring finger walking a pit bull. so badly i had to get surgery. needless to say cooking w. one hand is very difficult. it doesnt stop me though. i made oatmeal this am, and for dinner i made my own pasta sauce....it was...mediocre to say the least but i ate it and will eat my leftovers tomorrow. so, bare with me as i type and cook with one hand, whilst in a haze of vicodin. :)