08 October 2010

sometimes life gets in the way

overwhelmed. this is what i've been feeling on a regular basis for the last 2 months. o-ver-whelmed. sheesh. its all this moving across the country and saving money and not sleeping in my bed and not being comfortable in someone elses house to cook. i DESPERATELY miss cooking. i miss the access to the kitchen, the ability to walk to the grocery store to whip something up. however, with this comes an over-eagerness. for example...tonight, i'm at home and have to do laundry and i want to cook and bake EVERYthing. i want to make braised pork chops. i want to make a tenderloin. i want to make chili. i want to make burritos. i want to make couscous w. greens. i want to bake a tart tartine. i want to make pumpkin bread. i want to make homemade yogurt. i want to make pizza - from scratch. i want to eat everything and make everything. 

i knew, but i guess i didn't really know how important 'my' kitchen was to me. cooking really is cathartic for me. its my quiet creative time. its where i feel like i excel and where i have the time to breakdown whats been on my mind for x many days. cooking has become another extension of my creative self. along with acting (and drawing and sometimes writing) its where i feel the most myself. where i feel the most involved. i like working with my hands. i like details. maybe its not weird that cooking is relaxing. its just nice and i like it a lot. and when i don't have it in my life...somethings missing. i cannot wait to move to los angeles and start making my home. start making my kitchen really mine....

(not that you care) but i can't guarantee that i am going to be any better at this for the next month and a half while i prep for the move and move. but i will try to be. b.c, along with the cooking...this space is nice for me. i enjoy it.

do you do anything to help ease tension? any tips to calm being overwhelmed that aren't really time consuming and expensive?