stuck/rut

I want to post.  I also want to cook.  Unmotivated is what I am right now.  This transition that I'm going through, regardless of whatever 'kick-in-your-pants' conversations I've had, still stinks.  Like really bad cheese, well, really stinky cheese is usually really good so that clearly doesn't make my point but you get my point, right? 

So, as soon as I come up from my hole...I'll be here. I'm here, I'm just not feeling the urge to talk/write/do anything. I don't want to keep having a pity party, I feel like I am supposed to tell myself: I'm stronger than this...but am I? Or am I allowed to just hang out in the down swing. I should use this to really plot out what exactly it is I want to accomplish - that also takes motivation. 

Like I've told myself before, tomorrow is another day. One day at a time...

Any getting out of rut suggestions?

projects

I like projects, I love them actually. For their distraction, their passion, their involvement. I like making, creating, playing. I should make my life a project...thanks to a certain someone, I'm on a mission.

I had a real 'kick-in-your-ass' conversation with one of my big sisters the other night. It worked. She shook me in the way I needed to be shaken. I love her for that. I love her for her support, her encouragement, her honesty and especially her candor.  She's not afraid to said the tough stuff just to help make her point, to help me realize her point.  Both of my sisters have a way making me 'realize' things. I think that's sort of the point of a big sister, they lead the way and show you what to do or, not do. The love I have for the two of them is that deep unconditional love that won't ever subside, regardless of those dumb silly fights we may have or things we might not agree on,

I love, love, love 'em.  How are you feeling on this lovey day?!



xo 

nothing a little fresh squeezed orange juice can't help

These are from my backyard,

and they are awesome. And they made me feel better. I'm not gonna lie, I've been having a rough week. Didn't you notice all the blogging (distraction tactics!)?  

I'm enjoying my new home but, I think I've been on the go so much since I got here that now that there's silence, it's an overwhelming stagnation.  It's a stand still that I know is avoidable but I can't figure out how to break out of it. It stinks.  The city I live in is foreign, it's habits are different, it's in's and out's are all new.  I miss the old, I miss the familiar. I would even deal with the cold. Yes, new is an adventure, an exciting one nonetheless...sometimes it's just overwhelming.

Those oranges are sweet, juicy and perfectly ripe. I needed something to cheer me up. I feel better. I feel a little more motivated. We'll see what tomorrow brings, but tomorrow is tomorrow and today is now. In high school we had a substitute teacher, I can't for the life of me remember his name, but he was awesome. He always wore polyester pants, a stripped short sleeved shirt and a solid tie.  He had shaggy hair and big thick 70s style glasses. He was also the guy who would chat, we did the minimal work we were supposed to then it was chat about life time.  Which could seem creepy but he was never creepy.  When we would be going through any of those "teenage-crisis" moments, he'd always remind us to take it one day at a time and if that was too hard, one minute a time...still too tough? Go moment to moment. It seems pretty straight forward and obvious, but when you're a 16 year old girl it's advice gold. I remember it whenever I'm in this space...so, it's a day at a time for now.

Thanks for bearing with me.
xo

Breakfast!

talk about procrastination...

this is what i did today instead of those "adult" things i was supposed to.

oh, and i got the rest of the pins out of my hand!!
xo

busy bee

So, maybe I didn't get the "adult" things done I was supposed to today, like, look for a job, research agencies...I will. I promise, however, I have to catch you up with the progress I am making in the kitchen! (yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!!)

[Also. I just realized I never posted about my candies I made for the holidays.  What. Is. Going. On. Jordan. FOCUS. I will get to that later.]

Right. Catching you up: braised cabbage - um, incredible and topped with a poached egg, duh, loved it! Then there was the fudge I made for the Super Bowl. So easy and so good! And tonight, I roasted garlic, made a beet puree (which was okay but not great), and kale sauteed with roasted garlic, and an awesome pork chop...and, get this...I made roasted garlic butter. !!! So much. Picture and recipe of the cabbage to follow and the fudge recipe, do try it out. It's so easy and so good.

 

Braised Cabbage, adapted from Orangette 

Makes enough for dinner and a few meals after that

• 1 medium head green cabbage
• 1 large yellow onion, sliced into rough 1/3-inch slices
  1 large carrot, sliced into 1/4-inch rounds
• 1/4 cup water
• 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
• Coarse salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
• 1/8 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 egg, poached

Preheat the oven to 400, position a rack in the middle of the oven.

Get rid of the bruised and beat up outer layers. Rinse the cabbage under cold water quickly, dry lightly. Cut it into 8 wedges. Arrange the pieces on a baking dish. Try to get them all flat in the dish, if they overlap, that's okay but not preferred.

Add the onions and carrots to the dish, pour the water and oil over everything. Season with some salt, a bunch of pepper, and a few pinches of red pepper flakes. Cover the dish with foil pop it in the oven. Cook the veggies for 30 minutes; gently turn the cabbage wedges. Cover the dish, and return it to the oven to cook until the vegetables are very tender, about 20 more minutes.

When the cabbage is completely tender, remove the foil over the baking dish and continue cooking another 10 or so minutes.

Serve warm, topped with a poached egg and sprinkled with salt and freshly ground black pepper.

-----------------------------

The fudge guys...the fudge. Oh man, try this.

Cinnamon-Chocolate Fudge, from Giada De Laurentiis

• Butter, for greasing the pan
• 1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 pound (about 2 cups) bittersweet chocolate chips
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch pieces, at room temperature
• Kosher or flake salt, optional

Butter the bottom and sides of an 8 b 8-inch baking pan. Line the pan with a sheet of parchment paper, set aside.

In a medium glass or stainless steel bowl, combine the condensed milk, cinnamon, and vanilla. Stir in the chocolate chips and butter. Put the bowl on a saucepan of barely simmering water and mix until the chocolate chips have melted and the mixture is smooth, about 6 to 8 minutes (mixture will be thick). Using a spatula, scrape the mixture into the prepared pan and smooth the top. Sprinkle with salt. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours until firm.

Run a warm knife around the edge of the pan to loosen the fudge. Remove the fudge to a cutting board. Peel off the parchment paper and cut the fudge into 1-inch pieces. Store refrigerated in an airtight container or freeze.

c.r.e.a.t.e.

2/4: Tell us about three ways you express your creativity.

- I cook. I love creating in the kitchen. Most of the time, I am following a recipe but there's always something I adjust to make it more me.

- I act. When I take on another character it allows me to express me...I find myself in these other characters.

- I write. Be it a few thoughts, words, a post, whatever...it's a great release.

What's your creativity expression mode?

procrastination

2/3: Tell us seven things you do when you procrastinate.

1) Surf the interweb.

2) Organize my desk.

3) Sort my clothes for what I want to keep and what I should send to Good Will.

4) Bake.

5) Call folks I haven't caught up with in a while.

6) Talk to my dad on the phone.

7) Snack....is that bad, doo doo doo...name that reference, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

What do you do to procrastinate?

slowly but surely.

Last night we got home from San Francisco late, we had the veggies from our farm share sitting in our fridge and we had an old roommate staying the night.  Of course I'm going to cook an awesome dinner for the three of us to relax with after the long journey. Like I have said many times prior, cooking for me is catharsis.  It's Jordan Time.  It's my space of relaxing with my brain, regardless of how difficult it can be.  

I had a wonderful time in San Francisco...on Monday we went into Muir Woods and hiked for 5 hours...it was incredible. The forest was amazing and peaceful and playful and quieting.  When we reached the top of the Ben Johnson trail and found ourselves in a huge clearing looking out over the mountains that finally fell into the sea there was a moment of complete and totally clarity.  I was all of a sudden ready to not take myself so seriously, nor anyone else for that matter.  I realized that all too often I hide behind my sarcasm and humor and don't let the moments of genuine interaction come out.  Perhaps I am doing this because I am in a new city, meeting new people, going on a new adventure, sorting out my career all over again; I don't know.  But I do know that I made a pact with myself on that mountain...don't stress, don't panic, really exist in the moments you have fully and always remember to find the positive and make the most of what I'm handed.  Here's to that new adventure.

And, here's to an awesome frittata recipe I made last night, please, take the liberty to add whatever you have in your fridge to this.  I had to share it with you, so please, share you additions with me. Enjoy!

Potato Frittata

     makes one 10-inch cast iron skillet ofdeliciousness

     adapted from Joy the Baker (seriously, if you don't read her blog, you should...she's a very cool girl.)

• 5 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, divided
• 1 small yellow onion, sliced
• 1/2 fennel bulb, diced
• 9 small Russian banana potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/8-inch thick slices
• 3 Tablespoons unsalted butter
• Kosher salt
• Freshly ground pepper
• 7 large eggs
• 2 Tablespoons minced flat-leaf parsley
• a hearty shake of dried minced chives
• 2 Tablespoons heavy cream

Adjust the oven rack to the middle position and preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Heat a medium saute pan over medium high heat and drizzle with 2 Tablespoons of the olive oil.  Add the onions and fennel and cook until caramelized, about 8 minutes.  Deglaze the pan with 1/4 cup of water, scraping any brown bits from the bottom with a wooden spoon.  

Cook until the water evaporates and the onions take on a uniform brown color, very quick, watch your pan.

 

Transfer the onions to the roasting pan and toss with the raw sliced potatoes.  Add 1 tablespoon of butter and the remaining 3 Tablespoons of oil.  Toss with your hands.  Season generously with salt and pepper.  Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until the potatoes are tender, stirring occasionally - be careful!  You're oven is extremely hot right now. 

Reduce the oven heat to 350 degrees F.  

Meanwhile, whisk the eggs, herbs and cream together.  Season with salt and pepper.  

Heat a 10-inch cast-iron skillet over medium high heat.  Melt the remaining 2 Tablespoons butter in the skillet, making sure that melted butter greases the side of the cast iron as well.  Add the cooked potatoes to the pan.  Top with the egg mixture.  Cover the skillet with lid and bake for 30 minutes.  Remove lid and bake for 10 minutes more.  

Slice and serve directly from the skillet, warm or at room temperature. Serve with an easy salad for dinner. If eating for breakfast, have some oj and maybe a slice of homemade toast.

xo

feb-roo-ary

2/2: Think about someone who annoys you. Write a list of everything you don't like about them, and then write a list of all the things that you're grateful that they've shown you about yourself.
- ego centric, distracting, way too tangential, pretentious, not self driven.
- focus and clarity, specificity, drive and passion, the ability to allow myself to release control to another person.


2/1: Who's your favorite character from a book, play, film, or other work of art?
The French Post-Impressionist painter, Edouard Vuillard, has a painting of a young girl holding the hand of what looks like her father or grandfather that always speaks to me.  It is very similar to his Child Wearing a Red Scarf.  I think what speaks to me so much about the image is the trust the child seems to have in her father and the innocence she exudes. That sounds all bougie lame, but I mean it. The whole image is very grey and drab and she's wearing this bright orange/red beret and she pops out of the image. I love it.

What's a great book or film you've seen recently, or your all-time favorite that you think I just have to read or see?

four in one

1/28: Is there anyone in your family who was or is currently in the military? Tell us about them.Nope. All of my grandfathers were in the military but it was never been a big thing in my family, so I don't know them as military men.  I know them as Bud, the most generous man who lived in Jersey and made great fried egg sandwiches. And, Gene. The grandpa who would howl out the window at me in Northern CA and tell me wolves were coming and I better be careful. The man who whenever he met new people would tell them how when I was a baby he would be pushing me in a stroller and I would say 'hi' or smile at anyone. The man who when I went fishing with him and my father, was holding my fishing pole helping but got distracted by a bull frog and lost the only sun fish I would have caught. And finally, the man who I spoke to on the phone from Vermont as he was dying in the hospital...I told him I loved him and I would always and that I would miss him...5 minutes later he passed away. I love that man a lot, he was a great grandfather.

1/27: Have you ever had a moment in your life feel like it was pointing toward your destiny, either at the time or when you looked at it in retrospect?
Whenever I work in a theater - building sets, sorting props, painting, rehearsing, etc. I feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing.  I also have


1/26: What are five good reasons to break off a wedding?

- He's cheating

- You're cheating

- You really don't love this person you're doing it for other people

- Death of a close family member

- The big game's on at the same time...duh, people.

1/25: What's something you do really well that other people are amazed by?
I bake really well. :)